The holidays were hard for me. Christmas is my favourite holiday ever. Every year, I go back home in New-Brunswick to spend the holidays with my little family. Every year, we buy a Christmas tree, and my mom and I decorate it together, listening to Celine Dion’s Christmas album for the 100th time. This year, it was my first time not being able to go home. Thankfully, my mom came to visit me for two weeks, and we were able to celebrate together. Well, celebrate is a big word for what we did. We both felt like there was no Christmas this year, and we are already looking forward to next year’s. At least, we got to spend time together and it felt good.
A day after she left, one of my friend arrived to Korea with her friend, and we spent New Year’s Eve together. It felt good to see familiar faces, and we had a good time at the Cheonggyecheon. We spent the evening together, had dinner, drank Makgeolli and walked along the stream, taking pictures like real tourists. It got my mind off things, and it felt refreshing. We noticed these lanterns that we could buy and send along the stream, so we decided to make one. All of us got a little side of the lantern to write wishes for 2016. Mine went like this:
For 2016, I wish for health for my family, lots of dance opportunities, success at school. Happiness for everyone around me, and for myself. For 2016 to be better than 2015. Lastly, for my love to come back to me. Goodbye 2015.
Yep, I stupidly wished for him to come back to me. Little did I know, that he was celebrating New Year’s Eve with his ex, the girl who helped break us off. He posted two pictures in a row with her on Instagram, and if you know him, you know he doesn’t do that with anyone. So I messaged him asking if he loved her. He said he did, but he didn’t want to be with her, whatever that means. I can tell you that 2016 did not start well for me. I’m completely in pieces at this moment. I don’t know how to get over this other than completely closing myself. It’s over, I have lost the man I love. The one thing I desire the most on this planet, gone forever. I had hope to fix things when I would come back home, but now I have nothing. Hope was what kept me going everyday. I cherished the memories we had together, and it gave me some comfort. But now I truly know I was nothing to him but a bad memory. So happy new year to everyone.