Messages to him

2 days

It’s midnight. I leave Korea in two days. I just started packing my luggages. I decided to try to fit all my clothes into one suitcase, but it looks like that won’t work. I emptied my closet, and to do that, I had to take your clothes out. The clothes and pictures that I hid on the top shelf, that I haven’t touched for almost 5 months. Once your burgundy sweater was in my hands, I started crying. It still smells like you. Both your sweaters still smell of your delicious scent. I put your burgundy sweater on, the one I loved so much that I kept stealing from you. I probably will go to bed wearing it. Please don’t be mad, I wanted to wear it one last time. It reminds me of all the times you gave me strength, and tonight, I need your strength. With your sweaters was a gift I bought you for Christmas, and a frame full of pictures of us with the letter you wrote me. If only you meant what you wrote.. In about 7 days, we will meet, and I will be giving you all these things. I don’t want to part ways with them, because I don’t want to part ways with you. Things have gotten so hostile between us, and I hate it. But everytime I try to fix it, I only make it worse. You probably hate me now, right? That’s how I feel, and I don’t blame you, I hate myself too.

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