7 months ago, I closed this blog after finding out that pretty much everyone around me had found it. At first, I had started writing to find help by connecting with people on this website, as well as to talk about my experience in Korea. I would snapchat the fact that I was writing a blog, and I posted the link on my Instagram. It was there for my friends to read, but to be quite honest i doubted that any of them was reading it. When I came back to Canada, I fell even deeper into this black hell and I never thought it would take such a dark turn. But it did, and people close to me witnessed it. It was pitch black all around me, I couldn’t see anything else other than my pain. And because of that, I hurt the person I was writing about. So i decided that it would be better if I closed my blog and kept my thoughts to myself to avoid hurting him even more. In a way, I’m glad I did, because there is this depressed side of myself that I don’t want anyone to see. Because I am ashamed of it. But I also regret it, which is why I am re-opening it again. Writing is my escape. Putting it out there means being heard. By anyone. It could be by a stranger. It could be by someone I know. But just being heard is what I need. So I’m back, because I feel like I’m going bad again, and I’m scared.