I can’t focus on anything else than the pain. With my ex I was angry and I could concentrate on that. But with him, I understand it all, all the reasons. They are genuine and it all makes sense. So all I can focus on is the pain, nothing else. It’s just pure pain. It hurts a lot more and it saddens me to the point where I cant move. I don’t have any motivation, I can’t eat. And not just because I don’t want to but because my body refuses to. My whole body is hurting. The only thing I can keep down are a couple almonds and bananas. I tried drinking an ice capp but barely got a couple sips. I just tried to eat a poutine with a friend and I barely ate half. Everything disgusts me and makes me sick. I’ve also tried to never be alone since it happened. I’m scared I’ll drive to his house or to his work. That’s all I think about; seeing his handsome face and making him smile. I can’t make the person I love smile and laugh anymore. I can’t make him happy and it kills me. I don’t have any anger, no confusion, nothing else to focus on. I just feel constant pain.


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