I can’t focus on anything else than the pain. With my ex I was angry and I could concentrate on that. But with him, I understand it all, all the reasons. They are genuine and it all makes sense. So all I can focus on is the pain, nothing else. It’s just pure pain. It hurts… Continue reading Pain
I’ve tried so hard to be happy here. I’ve been in Ottawa for almost 7 full years now, and it still doesn’t feel like home. I’ve moved every single year; I haven’t had a permanent home, the only one being 9 hours away in New-Brunswick. I’ve had so many different roommates; often strangers, but the… Continue reading Home?
Last April, I met up with my doctor to get checked about my mental health. Like I said in a previous post, I have severe anxiety and severe depression. When he met me and we talked about it, he said that he was thinking of placing me in a psychiatric ward for my own safety.… Continue reading Stuck in a simulation
Yesterday was a big day. I have made so much progress recently, becoming stronger and happier with myself. Making the decision of leaving the Ottawa K-pop performance scene has been a hard choice; I don’t see my friends as often, I don’t exercise or dance every week. But by taking a step away from it… Continue reading No more
A year ago, I was all the way across the globe in South Korea. I was miserable, depressed, suicidal. I was wishing for a toxic love to come back to me, I was counting the days until I could come back home and fix everything I felt needed to be fixed. I remember writing about… Continue reading Starting the new year in good hands
I’ve been busy these past weeks for two reasons; I got promoted to full-time(supervisor) at work and they’re slowly training me to become a visual manager; and because I’ve been seeing this guy for the past 2 months. At first we started metting up only for benefits, but slowly I started developping feelings for him.… Continue reading 2 months
I don’t like the feeling of being comfortable with someone anymore. It terrifies me. I met this guy, and we both agreed we wouldn’t involve feelings into our relationship. Keep it physical only. But it’s been almost two months, and I’m starting to get very comfortable with him, I’m starting to like the feeling of… Continue reading I’m starting to get comfortable